So, I got thrown out of a bookshop in Vienna for browsing. As I neared a shelf, twenty seconds at most from crossing the threshold, the bookseller (a young man) walked up to me and snapped "What do you want?" and I started to say that I was looking for ... when he started shouting at me. All I understood was "this is not self-service" and "if you want to browse, look in the window." Taken aback, I said, "Das ist freundlich" and as I backed out of the shop, he screamed at me, now in English "Yes, friendly VienNAH!"
Yeah. My opinion hasn't changed about Vienna.
After pulling out of a grey Vienna on Saturday afternoon, the sun suddenly broke through as we pulled into the first Czech stop; a group of teenage girls got on the train singing in these gorgeous soprano voices and a beaming kind-faced nun came into my compartment. It's like I'm mainlined into the Czech tourist board. Even the nuns don't scare me.
But, okay, okay, I'll admit there are nice people in Vienna. The conference was good, non-stop, all time accounted for. After arriving at about 10pm on Wednesday, I was at the university by 9am and sat through about 10 papers, coffee breaks, lunch - schnitzel, strudel, more strudel in the afternoon. We were then all invited to a reception at Monaldi and Sorti's house in the vineyards in the Vienna hills.
Monaldi and Sorti? I hadn't heard of them either, but they've sold over a million copies of their historical thrillers, in 26 different languages, except their home one, as the Vatican have a hit out on them, for outing a pope as a Protestant ally. That's their story. A very nice couple it has to be said, living in a gorgeous, chandelier bedecked palace. They laid on outstanding Italian food, very smiley Italian waiters, and what seemed like endless wine.
They'd invited the deputy mayor of Vienna too back in February who, when she was handed the invitation (a package with their book) by a courier who ran off, did what you'd do in that situation and phoned the bomb squad. In her office, it's still known as the bomb book.
After another paper-filled day on Friday, we went to a wine tavern, again in the hills and sat outside in a courtyard covered overhead by vines, drinking "G'spritz" or white wine spritzers. "GeSCHpritZZ" a German professor, now based in Dublin, said to me, mouthing the word, it's so Austrian.
I lost my hat in Vienna. Not Vienna's fault but I blame them anyway. I left it on the metro and the old ladies said nothing and someone took it off the train because it wasn't on the last stop (I realized it right away). I thought Vienna was massive, grey, stony, cold. But I didn't even try a bookstore!
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